


The First Step, a poem

by catonthepianostrings (SullenDragon)



Series: Sentinel Poetry (formerly "Affection In the Workplace") [1]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Bad Poetry, Free Verse, M/M, Poetry, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3575105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SullenDragon/pseuds/catonthepianostrings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair, before they became JimandBlair.  Jim knows they're great together, but Blair needs a little more to see how much he means to Jim.  Jim's afraid to risk what they have for what they could be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Step, a poem

he’s settled himself so deep  
into my bones.  
i can feel him when i move,  
tucked into the spaces between my joints,  
and when i’m still -- so still, just trying to breathe  
through the panic at the thought of losing him --  
he is there, breathing with me,  
his voice curled like smoke into my head,  
the heat of him nested between my lungs, so close.

i can feel it between us, filling the space we’ve never breached,  
the way he wants to cross that distance,  
left gaping between us.  
but he doesn’t notice that it’s only physical space,  
that if he wasn’t in my head i’d be lost,  
that the sheer scale of his heart terrifies me,  
terrified to let that space go. 

but i find that i hate the idea of privacy anyway;  
if i gave him that, finally let us be,  
instead of  _almost_ being “one day” and “maybe”  
and faint hopes in the darkness,  
would he see?

he looks at me,  
eyes bruised dark  
under glasses that he forgets  
he only needs for reading and --  
yes.  
i can see him  
he needs it confirmed  
_chief..._  
and that grin breaks loose like sun in a storm.  
he knows (he knows!)

that smile nearly burns, but it’s been  
so long since i’ve seen the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Complain about being OOC if you want, but I believe that there can be a lot more to characters than we see on-screen, so I'm pretty much doing what feels right with them. Apparently it feels right to make Jim pretty darn mushy on the inside. Also, this was originally gonna be the follow-up, "let's ditch this closet" piece for Achilles' Heel, but it turned out as a prequel, kinda. I'm sure poetry, especially as I do it, shouldn't count as a real fan-work, but hey, that seems to be what I'm doing these days.


End file.
